Since every single person on the the planet Earth has heard of Jeff Foxworthy and his "you might be a redneck" bit, you know where I am going with this.  When you read these, make sure to read the first part of each sentence slowly in a high pitched voice.  Then read the second half in a deeper voice with the words all running together.  You've heard him.  You know what I'm talking about.

1. If you have 99% of the laundry in your house washed and 98% of it has been laying in mountainous piles all over your bedroom for a week......................you might be like Cassie.

2. If you have only two pairs of pants in your whole entire closet that fit and one of them has a weird stain on the butt but you keep wearing them anyway....................you might be like Cassie.

3. If your one-year-old is better at Angry Birds than you are.......................you might be like Cassie.

4. If it's been more than six days since you've seen the bottom of your kitchen sink..............................you might be like Cassie.

5. If your children's homework is bad for your religion..............................you might be like Cassie.

6. If you're a freakazoid that spends time worrying about if your child has anyone to play with on the playground.................................you might be like Cassie.

7. If you want to take a nap but can't get to your bed because of Mt. Saint Laundry............................you might be like Cassie.

8. If your bathroom is full of ants now.........................you might be like Cassie.

9. If your almost-two-year-old has started spitting at you everytime she doesn't get her way......................you might be like Cassie.

10. If you are scared you are going to beat your almost-two-year-old with a brick stick one day..................................you might be like Cassie.

11. If you single-handedly ate almost one whole pound of fudge by yourself in less than 48 hours........................you might be like Cassie.

12. If you drove past the football field today and got excited because they were painting the goalposts for the first game......................you might be like Cassie.

13. If your child has three tests tomorrow and yet you kept him up until 10:30 at night at said foodball game.................you might be like Cassie.

14. If you just got mad at your husband because he told you that you were acting stupid about something (that you really were acting stupid about but couldn't stop because you were on a rant and just could not control yourself)...........................you might be like Cassie.

15. If you have ever been told by an employee of Walmart that you do not actually know outside of the store, "if you wore khakis and a navy shirt, the manager would think you worked here you're here so much"...............................you might be like Cassie.

16. If you cannot stop wondering why there is a Lincoln towncar in your city painted like trix breakfast cereal................you might be like Cassie.

17. If you forgot to call your grandmother today on her birthday even though your aunt reminded you at 6:30 this morning...........................you might be like Cassie.

18. If you went to eat lunch with your kids at school today and was reminded again how thankful you are for good teachers and how glad you are that you're not one.........................you might be like Cassie.

19. If your almost-but-not-quite-two-year-old has a meltdown every time you go in the Walmart store and don't buy her a coke icee..............................you might be like Cassie.

20. If you made your kid eat a slice of pizza that he dropped face down on the ground at a football game becaue you told him more than once not to drop it........................you might be like Cassie.

    Thank you folks!  I'll be here all weekend.
Kelly
9/22/2011 03:12:36 pm

awesomeness

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