I have talked about it before, but honestly, I just have no clothes that fit currently. I lost quite a bit of weight between child 2 and child 3 (like 40ish pounds) and was actually feeling half decent about myself, but then I had kid 3 and got fat all over again and have not had the wherewithall to stop eating again. So here I am. Too fluffy to wear any of my clothes and expected to see either Reba or Kay Bain Friday night (not to mention EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON that Aaron works with) so today I was on a mission. BUY PANTS THAT FIT. The end. Well turns out, if you have new pants then you probably need a new shirt. Then odds are you are going to need matching shoes. And then now that your outfit is all new and whatnot, what jewerly are you going to wear with it? It sure would look cute with some new peacock feather earrings. (Doesn't that feel very "If You Give a Mouse Cookie...."?) Moral of that story is that shopping took a long time today.
Not only did shopping for my new outfit take a while, but can I please tell you that it is like 39 days until Christmas and my list is 47 miles long (that's what happens when you have large awesome families) and I have not purchased the first present? But seriously - nothing. NOTHING. Usually I am at least half way done at this point. So that was also a mission of mine. Pants that fit and feeding the consumerism beast that is Christmas.
Now please let me begin my day at the beginning - seeing as how that makes the most sense. I went to the big city (remember the one? the one 30 minutes away from my house that has more than a walmart? it doesn't have a target which causes my soul to mourn, but it does have a kohls and sams and bla bla bla.) I went there after I dropped my boys off at school, and I went to a lot of stores and spent too much money and filled up my schoolbus of a vehicle. I went to Kohls, Rack Room Shoes, Old Navy, Kirklands, Shoe Show, Sams, and then the mall. I bought lots of big stuff at Sams including an unplanned cupcake purchase. I was going to buy these cute little fall cupcakes with white icing and leaves on them, but when I bent over to clear a space under my full cart for the box, I looked up to find that my girl had pried open a 24 count box of hot pink Dora the Explorer cupcakes and was licking one. And because I am a half-decent person, I couldn't in good conscience leave it there. So Dora cupcakes it was.
In the short trip from Sams to the mall I noticed that I had apparently left facebook open on my phone and the battery was almost dead, and then I noticed that the car charger was missing. Aaron is claiming it was his to take because he bought it, but somehow the two I have bought are also missing. Hmm. Strange. I'm just saying. Anyway - no matter whose fault it is that I don't have a car charger in my truck (ahem "cou-Aaron-gh") I just don't. So I went on to the mall planning to stop by the nearby cell phone store when I got done. I noticed then also that it was not quite 1:00 when I got to the mall. Plenty of time. I thought. So I'm just flitting around, getting Aaron's golf club fixed at Dick's, spending my gift card at Gymboree, buying above mentioned peacock feather earrings. And as I thoughtfully weighed my options on wether I wanted the silver sequined ballet flats or the gold ones with the bow (because I have feet like sasquatch and am never wearing heels again in my life if I can help it) I think "I should ask someone what time it is since my phone is now totally dead. It's probably time for me to be heading home to pick up the boys from school. 30 minutes away". As I'm checking out I ask the cute little teenage boy "excuse me. do you have the time?" "Sure ma'am. It's 3:12." "What?!! Are you sure that's right? Is that daylight savings time?" (yes I actually asked that. It was on his phone. Obviously it was the right time but I was grasping at straws) "yes ma'am. that's definitely the time" Now let me just say that I have given up curse words almost entirely in the past 10 years, but if ever there was a time that I was temped to let one fly, today my friends was it. My kids were supposed to be picked up 12 minutes ago in a town 30 minutes away and I'm holding a cell phone that's deadern' a doornail, standing there waiting on a teenager to put gold ballet flats in a bag. You can imagine what's going through my mind. You shouldn't though. You really shouldn't. So I literally take off running with my girl asleep in her stroller and bags hanging off everywhere. Running in the mall. I'm sure it looked like weird powerwalking, but sadly that was how I run. Of course my car was parked at the complete opposite end of the place. Half way through the mall, in a moment of desperation, I stop at a kiosk vendor and beg him to let me use his cell phone because I have a "quasi emergency and my phone is dead". It is then I realize that I don't have a single person's number memorized except my husband's and he is 45 minutes away from the kids. But I call him to get him to call someone else. Of course he is in a meeting and doesn't answer. So then I take off running again, throw, the kid and the bags and the stroller in the truck, drive like a maniac to the cell phone store, and burst in there basically yelling like a freak. "I need to use a phone! Like right now! Is there a phone here I could use?!" Seriously there was a line almost out the door and I just broke to the front yelling like a nut. In hindsight that was incredibly embarrassing. Almost as embarrassing as the fact that I was welcomed to use any of the phones on display because they are all activated. All the display phones. That are attached to the display by a one foot cable. So I had to call the school (with the number I found on the handbook in my car) while basically laying my head down on the display to talk so I could explain to the assistant principal that I'm a loser mom in the big city with a dead phone and no way to pick my kids up. With everyone in that store watching. Then the a.p. called my friend to come get them for me, and because she loves me, she got back out of her house and went to get my babies for me. I bought a phone charger, called everyone in my life on the way home to apologize for being a loser, and wished the whole way home that I would have had time to get a late Chick-fil-a lunch.
So all in all this day was pretty good, I found an outfit, I bought a few presents, I had a coke icee. It was pretty good all except the fact that I just totally forgot about my children and became the mother that all the teachers talk about as being lame-o.
Please for the love of all things peacock feathered and gold with a bow, do not be like me. The end.
Tempted to lie that I was stranded with car trouble,
Cassie