I almost died today.  Actually, I'm pretty sure for a split second I did die but then came back because I had to take a second look at the horror.  Oh.the.horror.
    First things first and starting at the beginning - I hate frogs.  I think little frog drawings and appliques and childrens' decor are adorable.  But real, live amphibians cause my heart to beat out of my chest to the point past an episode and nearly to an infarction.  I'm pretty sure the fear grew out of an experience at church when I was about four years old.  I was wearing sandals playing under a willow tree with all the other kids after services, and a treefrog jumped on my foot.  (infarction)  It was worsened by all the times my baby brother Austin chased me all over creation holding frogs in his hands.  Jerk.  (jk I love you big baby!)
    Secondly, when we bought our house current house almost three years ago, through a bad series of terrible circumstances, we still owned our house in Madison.  Two mortages, two electic bills, two insurances, two water bills.  Good times.  Anyhow, there was no extra money.  And our new house has a pool.  An awesome, large, weirdly shaped pool with no fancy custom cover.  Do you know how much fancy custom covers cost?  More than we had to spare for sure.  So the point of this is - we ended up with basically the world's most gigantismic tarp on our pool for winter that gets full of water and leaves and algae and funk.  In spring all the water and funk have to be removed so we can remove the tarp. (insert a small gag)  
    This year the funk has been infested with.......tadpoles.  Heinous, awful, disgusting tadpoles.  No less than 100 million of them.  Seriously...100 million.  So when I walked out to the pool today to verify that Aaron was telling me the truth, I saw the millions and I died for a split second.  I don't know how much delving into Exodus you have done, but if my pool cover was Egypt, it would be experiencing the second plague right now.  (prize to the first person who can name all ten plagues in order.  I definitely could not without looking)
Look at 'em. Swimming around like they own the place. All different levels of froghood development. Right now, as I look at this, my heart rate quickens, my hands become sweaty, and I feel the urge to drop the computer and run.
A whole canal full of tiny, baby ones. Just think if every one of those were to grow into a frog and live in my back yard. HOUSE FOR SALE - CHEAP MUST GO IMMEDIATELY
This is not such a clear photo, but believe me when I tell you that each one of those globby things is a teenage tadpole - just waiting to hop out of there and touch me and watch me drop cold.
Last horrific photo, I promise. Same thing with all the globs. I have to stop now. My hind end is cringed so tight that I'm about to pull something I might need later.
    So I am just gonna go ahead and put this out there.  Removing the gigantismic tarp is at least a two person job.  If I have to be part of the removal this year, then it was nice knowing all of you.  The end.  I'm a goner.

Please talk my brother Austin into coming and doing this for me so I'm not gone forever.  He owes me.

Kimberly Wilson
5/1/2011 07:59:04 am

So frogs don't normally bother me, but can I just say that is sooooo gross!! (especially the last 2 pics) there is no way I would be out even be near the pool with all that nastiness going on. Hope your brother helps you out : )

5/1/2011 10:09:36 am

so oddly enough while i was reading this a frog started croaking outside my window...they're taking over! ahhhhh! lol

5/1/2011 02:23:26 pm

I forgot you hated frogs! Haha! That is hilarious!

5/2/2011 01:08:24 pm

WUSS!! I thought you was a country girl?

5/3/2011 12:58:53 pm

You should ask Rebecca Leigh Wanner to come help you with this!! She has the same affinity for frogs that you do!! And her siblings have chased her around with frogs her whole life, too!;) Cracking up!!


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