Where are my children's shoes?!  Where?  What do they do with them?  Seriously?  Ahhhhhhh!  Please tell me that other people have this problem.  That you are supposed to be at the ballpark in no more than six minutes and for some reason your kids cleats have actually dissapated into thin air.  That your husband is screaming at your whole family to get in the car because you're late for church, and at least two of your kids don't know where their left shoe is.  That your kids own more shoes apiece than most African villages, yet when you are in a killing rush to get out the door then the only thing you can come up with is a pair of plastic spider-man flip-flops.  No?  It's just my family?  I'm the only one who has a disaster of a house where shoes are buried beneath stuffed animals and toys and poptart wrappers and beach towels and dirty laundry (all which were not there last night mind you)?  I'm the only one who's children drop their shoes in the kitchen, in the car, outside by the trampoline, in the bathroom, under the bed, at the ballpark and where ever else in the world the spirit moves them?  I'm doubting it.  I'm just saying.......I need some sort of great suggestion for the shoes besides the whole "have them put them away" advice.  It sounds great in theory, but then I spend half my day chasing after them, making sure stuff is put away, saying every five seconds "put those away.  where is your sister? put those away.  where is your sister?"  and that is equally exhausting and awful.  (I already have to ask the sister question all the time because she is a curious litte escape artist monstrosity) 
     Seriously, the other night I made Turnanator go to the Mexican restaurant with one shoe on and one shoe off because I was so mad that he couldn't find it.  I'm a crazy lady.  It's easy to spot me in a crowd with the swirling eyes, snakes in my head, and loud, one-shoed children.  So next time you see one of my boys playing baseball in flip-flops, don't judge us.  Just love us anyway and accept the fact that the chaos is what makes us interesting.  And awesome.  And weird.

Love ya' like not accidentally looking at porn (see below),

P.S. - I looked at the word "cleats" so long that it didn't look like a word anymore.  So to check the spelling I decided the quickest thing to do would be to go to the website of a sporting goods store.  I immediately think of Dick's and type in dicks.com.  Luckily that was right, but for a split second after pressing enter I got really extra scared that I had done something awful.  (if you were just offended by that - sorry.  if you don't get it - good for you)
Melissa S
6/7/2011 05:17:21 am

Cassie I totally understand!! I think that my kids throw away shoes just hear me scream at them. I've decided that I hate shoes and that we should throw them all away (at least for kids). It makes me so mad. But you know those nasty flip flops can always be found!!

ok I just tried to submit this and i got an error message that said "There are too many exclamation points in your comment. Please remove some exclamation points and try again." sorry that was so funny

Lindsey Harris
6/7/2011 05:32:53 am

Ha! This is funny. :) On the way to Little Rock the other day, I turned around to pick up a toy Zoe dropped and realized there were 7 shoes in her floorboard! I know this is terrible, but I have given up on Zoe's side of the car and her room. They are both lost causes. When we do decide to clean, she asks who is coming over! Oh well...

6/7/2011 11:01:56 am

So some 6+ years ago, I was babysitting some Foster children so the grandparents could go see their newest grandson. It was Bible Bowl night. As I rushed to get all the children into the car, never did I notice until half a mile down the road that sweet Eric had no shoes. So there it was a cherry red Alero speeding down the gravel road-backwards-to get shoes. These kids lived in the house with a Superhero & even they didnt keep up w/ their shoes. (maybe you could zip tie their shoes together. Walking fast would be out of the question, but where one shoe was, there would be the other.)

6/7/2011 02:14:19 pm

If anyone has an extra khaki cayman croc size 8/9 for the left foot, send it my way. Kenner lost one last summer and we still can't find it. It's okay because kenner moved up in size but kooper will one day need two of the size 8/9 khaki crocs and we don't want to be like those crazy foster boys wearing only one shoe. :0)

6/8/2011 12:50:50 am

Hi, I'm Lori (a friend of Audra and Kacie). They told me about your blog. It makes me laugh :)

Anyway, when we were growing up, my dad would fine us a quarter if he came across a shoe not in the right place. That cleared up the problem quickly.

6/8/2011 01:21:37 pm

I decided to end my shoe-fetching days by having a big basket (that has lid for when company comes and the boy funk foot odor reigns) and have it by the door. They walk in, they sctter their shoes...they put them in the basket. Basket full = money in piggy bank for Landon to take them up and put them in their proper places. It works some of the time. However, Braydon has other idea. The other night on the way to worship, hot with the windows rolled down...yep, you guessed it. Bray chucked his hoe out the window. I went back after he ran around barefoot @ worship and looked for it. Now wild field mice are making a home in a nice right shoe somewhere.

Sherry Floyd
6/13/2011 07:38:36 am

Once again let me say "I LOVE YOUR BLOG!" It always makes me laugh!! As far as the lost shoes -- I agree with the "basket by the door." I have a large wicker basket by my door -- and it even catches teenager and adult shoes -- at least until the "basket runneth over". I even collect visiting teenager's shoes there - and it works for my visiting foster grandchildren. Then if you need to hide it in a hurry -- pick it up by the handle -- and move it to the bedroom -- out of sight of "company" who actually put the shoes at their house where they belong. (Do people really do that??) In the words of my husband -- YOU'RE WONDERFUL, YOU'RE WONDERFUL!! Hang in there -- before long your babies will be grown -- and hanging out at some nice college minister's wife's house and pool. (Thanks for being kind to them -- and they do have a home -- if you get ready to run them off!!)


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