1. Today my girl found our "Elf on the Shelf" book and I promptly took it away because I like it the way it is - with the pages intact and all. She really wanted it back and kept asking and asking and asking for it in Destruct-o-girl speak "blablablagobbledygookyaddayadda book" "goobledygoobledygoobla book" "malamalamawhadda book". However, I was pretty much just ignoring her and occasionally saying "no" "no you can't have it" "why don't you go play with your toys?" "go get mama a cookie". So as I sat on the floor working on our Christmas cards she walks over, grabs my face in both of her hands, puts her nose right against mine, and says "isen ew me. aughnt da book!" (that's destruct-o-girl for "listen to me. I want the book!") And can I just say that it was about the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life?! Of course I still didn't give her the book, but I laughed, gave her a million kisses and distracted her with oreos.
2. Is speech therapy available for just-turned-two year olds? For reals though.......
3. Oh special edition oreos, why must thou be dipped in white almond bark ever so perfectly and why must thou also be placed on the end cap of the aisle wherest I shalt see and purchase thee for my consumption every time I see you during this the holiday season?
4. Have you ever had a blood vessel burst (explode) in your eye before? I can't say that I have, until this week. Sunday, there was one. Monday, the whole top of my eye - disgusting. I now look like a mummy on one side. It is ewww. Just by freak coincidence it turns out I have an eye doctor appointment next Tuesday anyway (I'm not kidding about the freakiness of it. My last vision check up was in college, 13 years ago, and I just happened to decide to make the appointment last week. Weird. DODOdodoDODOdodo) so I'm just going to wait to talk to him about it. At first I freaked about the grodiness of it all, but then after I googled it, it seems that I am not in fact going blind today. If you have intimate knowledge of the eyeball, however, and believe otherwise, please contact me at your quickest convenience because that's the kind of thing I really would like to know. Thanks. I hate to leave my entire life hanging in the balance of google.
5. Isn't it funny how I have all the right in the world to stop getting on facebook instead of being annoyed with peoples statuses (stati?), and yet I don't stop. In fact, I don't stop at all - I just stalk more - and complain the whole time about others' statuses. For instance, I don't need a play by play of your day if you aren't doing anything special or out of the ordinary. I'm having my own day of errands and work to do thanks. I don't care that much about your workout unless it is something spectacular and then I only need to know about it once. And to repeat myself from an earlier post. You are not the only person in the world getting action so please for the love of all things polite, stop talking about it to your 800 closest friends. Thankyoueversomuch. But really, it's your status and your internet page so actually you can post whatever you want. That's why they make a hide button. (I would unfriend you but then I couldn't stalk you when I want to)
6. Tonight we babysat for some friends and the little guy will be one this month. He is adorable and BUSY. Plus he's the first kid at his quiet, polite house so I'm sure he had no idea what to do here at Casa de Nuttso. We had a great time with him, but isn't it funny how when you have kids, you always think of the youngest one as a baby? Then when an actual baby comes over it blows your mind that your kid is so big. No? Just me huh?
7. Have you ever had that moment where you realize that the bottle of body wash you gave your boys weeks ago to take a shower with is actually lotion? Which means your boys haven't actually bathed with soap in upwards of three weeks? Me neither.
8. Have you ever looked down to realize you are typing at 3 a.m. and then stopped on #8 of a list?
2. Is speech therapy available for just-turned-two year olds? For reals though.......
3. Oh special edition oreos, why must thou be dipped in white almond bark ever so perfectly and why must thou also be placed on the end cap of the aisle wherest I shalt see and purchase thee for my consumption every time I see you during this the holiday season?
4. Have you ever had a blood vessel burst (explode) in your eye before? I can't say that I have, until this week. Sunday, there was one. Monday, the whole top of my eye - disgusting. I now look like a mummy on one side. It is ewww. Just by freak coincidence it turns out I have an eye doctor appointment next Tuesday anyway (I'm not kidding about the freakiness of it. My last vision check up was in college, 13 years ago, and I just happened to decide to make the appointment last week. Weird. DODOdodoDODOdodo) so I'm just going to wait to talk to him about it. At first I freaked about the grodiness of it all, but then after I googled it, it seems that I am not in fact going blind today. If you have intimate knowledge of the eyeball, however, and believe otherwise, please contact me at your quickest convenience because that's the kind of thing I really would like to know. Thanks. I hate to leave my entire life hanging in the balance of google.
5. Isn't it funny how I have all the right in the world to stop getting on facebook instead of being annoyed with peoples statuses (stati?), and yet I don't stop. In fact, I don't stop at all - I just stalk more - and complain the whole time about others' statuses. For instance, I don't need a play by play of your day if you aren't doing anything special or out of the ordinary. I'm having my own day of errands and work to do thanks. I don't care that much about your workout unless it is something spectacular and then I only need to know about it once. And to repeat myself from an earlier post. You are not the only person in the world getting action so please for the love of all things polite, stop talking about it to your 800 closest friends. Thankyoueversomuch. But really, it's your status and your internet page so actually you can post whatever you want. That's why they make a hide button. (I would unfriend you but then I couldn't stalk you when I want to)
6. Tonight we babysat for some friends and the little guy will be one this month. He is adorable and BUSY. Plus he's the first kid at his quiet, polite house so I'm sure he had no idea what to do here at Casa de Nuttso. We had a great time with him, but isn't it funny how when you have kids, you always think of the youngest one as a baby? Then when an actual baby comes over it blows your mind that your kid is so big. No? Just me huh?
7. Have you ever had that moment where you realize that the bottle of body wash you gave your boys weeks ago to take a shower with is actually lotion? Which means your boys haven't actually bathed with soap in upwards of three weeks? Me neither.
8. Have you ever looked down to realize you are typing at 3 a.m. and then stopped on #8 of a list?
RSS Feed