What I am about to tell you is the most NOT groundbreaking piece of information ever.  It's amazing how obvious it's going to be.  Like...duh.  Duh haruh even.  (do you remember that?  did anyone else say that in the '80's or was it just me and my weirdo friends?  I digress)  I am about to tell you the very reason why my children and I had such a completely lovely and pretty-much stress free afternoon.  

    I just chilled out - remained calm - didn't let stuff get to me - drank whiskey.  

    (Ha!  I totally kid about that last one, but Aaron totally did acuse me of becoming an afternoon nipper when he heard about how relaxed I was all day.)

    Today was basically a typical day with Destruct-o-girl.  I woke her up this morning so we could take her brothers to school, she destroyed everything she touched until her nap time, she napped and my heart sang out praises for the blessed time of peace, she woke up earlier than I hoped and I cried a little, then she destroyed everything she touched until we went to pick up her brothers from art lessons.  Then we played outside and had a marvelous, lovely time (while I took a zillion pictures), I made her go in so brothers could do homework, she layed in the floor by the back door clawing and screaming "side! side!" for 47 minutes, she dumped half a box of cinnamon toast crunch in the floor, she spilled milk all in her hair, she got cheetos all over the iPad, she got a bath and 7 million kisses, and finally she and her pig went to bed.

    Same goes for the boys having a typical day.  I drug them out of bed for school, they complained the whole morning, I dropped them off, picked them up from their after school art lesson, Turnanator immediately started crying about having to do homework, Super-G disappeared the second we got home, we played outside and took photos a while, then we sat down for homework.  Neither wanted to do anything but they did it anyway, then Super-G had to practice for piano tomorrow.  He would rather have watched tv.  Turnanator didn't want to eat supper, no one wanted to bathe (wonder where they get that?), and even though they could barely hold their eyes open every time they got still, no one was tired.  All of this happened, btw, before Daddy got home tonight because he had to go out to eat with some Japanese visitors.

    And even thought all of that happened, and lots of people cried, and several fits were pitched - I remained calm.  And you know what?  It didn't take long and my offspring became calm too.  I'm sorry I'm even writing about this.  I know it seems so simple and dumb at the same time, but for me it feels like some kind of revelation.  I, as anyone who knows me knows, am not a calm person.  I'm not a germaphobe or a run-to-the-doctor-over-every-little-thing person, but I am a get stressed out and have a come-apart person.  I yell.  A lot actually.  And apparently I get some type of satisfaction from getting worked up over some of the most useless bits of life.  "Why do you have on tall socks with shorts son?!  How many times do I have to tell you to wear the ankle socks with shorts?!  Daughter!  Where is your hairbow?  Quit wiping your nose on your shirt kid!!  Husband!  How is it possible that you can dress yourself but are totally incapable of dressing our kids in things that match?!  Why are these shoes in my living room?!!!!!"  Do you see what I'm saying?  None of that matters one iota in real life, so you oughta' see me go when it's over stuff that matters.  Like my first grader's inability to read the word "does" over and over again in his take home reader.  I'm a psycho.  

    So today, for no particular reason at all, I decided I was going to work very extra super hard at controlling my emotions, not getting stressed out, and not raising my voice.  And guess what - homework went so much better than normal.  We had fun outside.  Everyone got to watch a few minutes of tv and was still in bed at a decent time.  And I didn't spend the rest of tonight feeling like I wanted to kill somone (and taking it out on poor Aaron who usually bears the brunt of my "crazy-lady").  Guess what else.  Super-G never did really master his piano this week, there are still dishes piled in my sink and laundry piled in my room, and I have yet to wipe the cheeto off the iPad.  Turns out, if all that doesn't happen tonight life will go on anyway.  

    While I'm sure that 98% of you make this a regular practice and aren't crazy nut-job mothers anyway, I just needed to put this on my blog tonight, even if it's boring.  I needed to have this written down so on the days that I am screaming about the fact that it's inappropriate to put food in your princess potty and shoes in your bed sheets, I can remember the day that I chilled out and it had such a profound affect.  So to the 2% of you that are wing-dings like me, let's hold each other accountable to be better moms that yell less and eat less junk food out of frustration and have less pounding headaches.  Let's be calm, and chilled, and hopefully not secretly drinking all afternoon.

Love you almost as much as my afternoon with my babies,
8/29/2011 09:37:55 pm

I think "does" should be spelled differently. Shelby could read "duz" all day long but I think the conventional spelling really messes with poor first graders that are desperately trying to sound it out. Crazy English language. Don't even get me started about the word "Colonel" Where, I ask, is the R? There isn't one so therefore it needs to me spelled differently too. We can all get crazy about things that don't really matter sometimes :)

8/13/2012 06:17:51 pm

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Joseph Aidan


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