Let me just start this whole post by saying that I adore my daughter and think she is wonderful, and adorable, and cute, and funny, and smart.  I mean I really, really, really love her.  Violently and hysterically and deeply.  I grew her inside of my body.  We're tight.  And let me also say that I realize my last post was about crazy stuff that happened the other day.  It was a little complainy in it's undertone, and I really do try not to be complainy too much right in a row, but I just feel like I have to get this out.

    Being Destruct-o-girl's mother is flat out exhausting.  She is just so...............busy.  I cannot take my eyes off of her for a second.  Just to give you a little taste I thought I would give you a run through of yesterday.  

    Yesterday I worked at the student center at our church all morning and while there she:
1. Went outside to the parking lot 3 times.
2. Tried to eat the metal circles that are the score keepers on the air hockey table.
3. Fell out of the chair she was standing in and busted it all down the wall to the floor.
4. Put a bottle of 409 cleaner in her mouth and was one nanosecond from pulling the trigger when I screamed
    and pounced on her.
5. Put her hand in a gallon of black paint.
6. Ate more garbage food.
7. Climbed up a case of bottled water and stood on the deep freezer to reach markers that I had put on top of
    the fridge.
8. Climbed onto and sat on the shelf of a rolling tv stand.
9. Ran through the kitchen with a butcher knife.

    After being out doing student center work for most of the day, when we got home my girl took a nap.  Then when she woke up she managed to do the following things before bedtime:
1. Climbed onto the very top/back of the piano to get the vase full of shells from our beach vacation.
2. Turned on the water and got in the shower with all of her clothes on.
3. Climbed up the barstool to sit on the island to get to the iPad.
4. Stood on the handle for the broiler and pulled open the (not on) oven, cracking herself in the head with the 
5. Ate cheetos for dinner.
6. Stood on a barstool and turned on the cd player on the top shelf of my baking rack.
7. Ripped off her diaper and told me she had to pee-pee.  When I walked in I expected to find her sitting on her
    princess potty.  Instead, I found her standing in front of it like a boy, peeing on the floor.  Apparenty growing 
    up in a house with a daddy and two brothers and no privacy or boundaries has confused her.
8. Opened the back door and let herself out to the back yard twice.

    I know that many of y'all are thinking "wow, she must be the most negligent mother in the world!".  I promise you I am not.  She is just so fast, and sneaky, and smart, and nothing and entertains her for any length of time.  Apparently she has ADD already.  Plus I have two other kids and a home that occasionally require my attention.  I will leave her in her room playing with her toys and and think "ok, I'll go swap over the laundry" and when I get back she will be in the toilet in her brothers' room dipping their toothbrushes.  She has figured out how to climb up our barstools and since they are light she can push them anywhere.  To get anything.  Nothing is off limits anymore.  And there are more people in this house than just Destruct-o-girl and me so people don't always remember to leave all the safety measures in check.  My boys don't always remember to keep the back door locked when they are going in and out, and inevitably someone always leaves a bathroom or bedroom door opened that should be shut tight.  I know people think I am exaggerating her exhaustingness until they hang with her, and now that my mother really has this summer, she believes that I need Destruct-o-girl on some type of leash with a teather in every room.  It's a pretty good idea actually.  I'm looking into it.  

    Anyway, the moral of today's story is, if you come to my house and it is a complete hot mess disaster, I have had no shower in 3 days, and I have bags under my eyes - it's because I am tired and I have not taken my eyes off of my daughter in at least 10 months.  It's the only way to keep her alive.  It's also because I spend a lot of time worrying about the fact that if she is this difficult at 22 months old, what in the world will she be like when she is 17?  I shudder to think of it...............................
8/18/2011 05:02:29 am

After having spent time with my adorabe niece, I definitely AGREE she is exhausting and so easy to lose so fast! I still think you should try the sand technique, maybe she won't cross over the sand. Better yet, put a giant sand box in the middle of your living room, put a her chair in middle, some toys and leave her in! :)

8/18/2011 06:45:07 am

Cassie, I feel your pain. 100%. That is my son. I honestly have looked up if he has ADD. He does not have any symptoms except he is hyperactive and has a zero attention span unless it involves something destructing a part of my house. I was trying to simply make him and me a bowl of chili (read: quickly dipping soup from pot to bowl) at a church function not long ago,and before I could sit it on the table, the maintenance man returned him from the freakin' parking lot. That happened a couple times. Caught him running through the house with a steak knife multiple times. Pretty sure he drank nail polish remover. Ripped my curtain rod off the wall (and the sheetrock), pulled off 75% of the keys on my keyboard, etc, etc, etc, ad nauseum. IT. IS EXHAUSTING. to watch him. So I totally feel you. At age 3, he is getting better. He'll finally watch television--that helps. (Nice, huh?)


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