For starters, I just feel like I owe I huge, gigantic apology to anyone who has had to be around me for the past three days.  I have been a idiot who will not stop blabbing and going on and on about my business to anyone who would stand still long enough for me to tell it.  I would love to think that I am the kind of person who is super easy going and totally whatever.  Sadly, though, I really am not.  I am an unorganized, last-minute, forgetfull mess, and I am not easy going when things get too out of control. I am a walking freak-out.  And this weekend, I felt very out of control at times.  So if you were around me at any point since Friday morning, please do not read any farther.  I'm sure you were annnoyed to death with me and the fact that I wouldn't shut up about my crazy weekend at the time you had to suffer through hearing it.  I can hear myself talking too much when I'm doing it - I just can't stop my mouth from running.  But that story you heard  is what this post is about, so I'm just warning you so you don't have to rehash the whole stupid thing again.

(I need you to know that I just typed out every detail of my entire weekend, but it was so long that I got too bored to even read it back to myself - which is a sign of mega lameness.  So instead, here is the cliff notes version of my Friday so I can just get the whole thing off my chest.)

1. My wonderful husband waited until I was at the pumpkin patch with Turnanator and seven million other kindergarteners to tell me about a dinner that was that night (that he had "totally forgotten about") at the V.P. of Operations house, and we just really had to go.  (p.s. - the V.P. is a big deal.  He runs the whole factory.  He's the big cheese of the place where they build cars.  Cars you have heard of.  Cars you may even drive.)

2. I freaked out for many many reasons.

3. My kids ended up having three different babysitters on Friday because everyone had to take the day in shifts.

4. I spent lots and lots and too much money at the mall because I was already in the big city when I realized I had forgotten half of our stuff that we needed to get ready and I only had an hour to buy it all. 

5. I remembered that I rode behind a tractor and petted a goat and sweated profusely at the pumpkin patch and literally did not have time to bathe between functions. 

6. Aaron and I realized we had no place to get ready for the party, so we the Walmart parking lot.

7. My 6'6" husband and my big fat self climbed into the back of my truck and got completely ready for the party in the Walmart parking lot.

8. My husband and I are white trash rednecks.

9. I gave myself a bath with babywipes because I smelled like dirt and goats while topless in the backseat of my truck in the Walmart parking lot.

10.  Never be like me.

11.  We went to the party, pretended everything was fine, and died of exhaustion the second we got home.

The end.


Hope this helps you feel better about yourself as a person.

10/17/2011 01:22:52 pm

This is hilarious. Absolutely hilarious!

10/18/2011 10:41:35 pm

I am laughing so hard right now.!


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