1. .......and I like to make lists.  Even ones that make no sense and have no theme.

2. So I had to call poison control today.  For the fourth time.  I'm just saying, this is no indication of my parenting, just my children's level of curiosity and apparent hunger.

3. Destruct-o-girl painted her feet, her hands, her arms, her clothes, my bathroom, my closet carpet, and her tongue with Sally Hanson Clear Hard-As-Nails Topcoat Polish today.  (please see status above)

4. Super G once ate deoderant.  And wallpaper stripper.  And roach spray.

5. Bless his precious little heart, Turnanator has never eaten any poison.  He is currently, at this second, my favorite child.

6. Over the past seven days there has been quite a large amount of fever and snot pass through this house.  I'm not sure why you need to know that but you do.

7. I decided tonight while fixing my kids' dinner plates, that peaches are one of the most revolting smells on this planet.  Seriously, I would rather smell the inside of Aaron's work shoes than smell a peach.  Gag-a-maggot.

8.  Do you remember the whole, "I bought a composter" phase of my life I went through?  Speaking of gag-a-maggot, apparently I am doing lots of stuff wrong.

9. Why will my hair not do all the cute, messy-bun things that are so popular right now?  Why am I hair inept?  Why won't it poof on top?  Why can't my bangs look like Carrie Underwoods?  Why do I seem to be the only person on earth who can't even properly install a bumpit to my crown?  Why do I own a bumpit?  And where exactly is my crown?

10.  Do any of you other stay-at-home mothers notice that on the rare occasions you get out without your kids, you cannot shut up?  It's like you need every word to make it to your next conversation with adults.  Let me just apologize in advance to any of you poor suckers that run into me on a Saturday in the Wal-mart.

11. Can I just say that I love my husband more than anything, but I find it amazing that he can run whole departments of a major vehicle manufacturing facility, dealing with budgets of millions and millions of dollars, and yet he cannot pick out matching clothes for our children.  It blows my mind every time.  However, I must confess that secretely down-deep, I kind-of like it that it's one more thing that only I can do. 

12.  When redoing your children's rooms, turns out, the best type of bunk bed is almost always a free one.  Shout out to D.K. for being awesome and paying it forward.  The budget nazi thanks you.  Big time.

13. If you are not watching The Sing-Off, there is something fundamentally wrong with you ability to judge what is awesome.  

14. Take two graham cracker crusts.  Put a shallow layer of caramel in both of them (dip, topping, whatever).  Mix a tub of whipped cream cheese and a can of sweetend condensed milk until blended.  Stir in a tub of cool whip.  Pour the mix evenly into the two crusts.  Drizzle with more caramel.  Freeze.  Eat.  The whole pie.  In one sitting out of the pan with a fork with your husband.  Moan about how your pants don't fit.  Eat more pie tomorrow.  Thank me. 



9/27/2011 12:34:32 am

I'm still reading! I talk nonstop too when I'm away from the kids and wonder if my friends think I'm looney.

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Martha Calton
9/27/2011 01:34:25 am

I love you!!!

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10/1/2011 01:23:35 am

I LOVE #10....
oh, my gosh... I almost spit my coffee out ...!

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