Dear bloggy friends, I've missed you.  I really have.  But I've been unavailable lately to write.  Because I've been asleep.  Or eating something.   It's a hard life I live, I tell ya'. 

    Actually, I've been away on a fantastic little tenth anniversary get away and was either too stressed out trying to get everything ready to leave, or was too busy doing nothing while I was there, or was too distracted with our first days of summer to write for the past two weeks.  But did you see the last post on here?  From Aaron?  Isn't he just the best?  My brother-in-law that reads my blog because he knows fine entertainment when he sees it, says that I talk about Aaron nice on here all the time and it just can't be real.  Well it's true, sometimes Aaron gets grouchy and bossy and I want to punch him in the neck.  That really does happen.  But honestly, I have to say that he is fantastic.  For ten years I have been married to a fella who makes me feel loved.  All the time.  Even when we are fighting and I am screaming like a nut.  Or when the house is lookin' a hot mess and I haven't had a bath in days and am lookin' a fright and I forget that I am snack mom at the baseball game and I forget to pay the power bill on time and when I "accidentally" use a dentist who is out of network and we have to pay three times what we would have in network.  Even during all of that, he makes me feel loved. (even though just reminding him about the dentist thing is going to stress him out all over again)

    And on Mother's Day morning I woke up to a surprise post by him, talking about me being a great mother.  He's a great guy, but "lovey dovey" he is not.  So the fact that he wrote and shared all of that with you just solidifies it - he really is fantastic.  He always knows just what I want the most.

    Now that's enough on the sappy sweet stuff.  I'm about to gross myself out. 

    On a completely different note, schoooooooooooool's out.for.SUMMER.  Sing it with me now schoooooooooooool's out.for.SUMMER.  So we have spent our first week of summer bliss doing just what  was intended.  Nothing.  And that got me thinking, what else is going to change now that the kids are out of school?  So I made a list (because we all know I love making lists)

1.  The swimming pool now counts as a bath.  Six days a week.  We will only use soap for Sunday church.

2.  I won't check the mail again until August because the boys always get it for me when we drive up the driveway from school.

3.  The laundry will never be caught up.

4.  There will always be wet towels piled around the house.

5.   M&M's count as breakfast.  And lunch.

6.  My house doesn't stand a chance of being clean between now and August

7.  I will be awake at ridiculous hours of the night every night, watching reruns of Friends, That 70's Show, Swamp People, Duck Dynasty, The Nanny, and The Office. 

8.  We will sleep until at least 9 am every morning.

9.  I will feel guilty about the fact that Aaron has to get up for work so early every morning and work so many hours at such a long, stressful job while we just spend every day chillin.

10.  I'll probably be feeling that guilt from beside the pool.

Dear Summer, thanks for existing

Love you like M&M's as a meal,


1.  I love lists.

2.  I love cake.

3.  I love lists about cake.

4.  I digress.

5.  I have not written in over two weeks.

6.  I wanted to write sometime the end of last week but I couldn't.  Because I could not peel my face out of the Hunger Games books long enough to care for my children or sleep, much less write something myself.  I could.not.put.them.down.  All I have to say is "wow".  Just "wow".  How in the round world a person is creative enough to come up with all of that is beyond my comprehension.  It was incredible.  That is all.  No spoilers here people.  Go get them.  Read them.  Come to terms with them.

7.  I have a daughter who is adorable and awful and precious and exhausting.  That daughter loves suckers.  We went through the bank drive through the other day, and she received a dum-dum sucker.  Root beer flavored.  She is the first person I have ever seen to actually eat a root beer flavored dum-dum.  She was still eating it when we got home.  As I was unloading things from my car and she was playing in the garage, I looked up to see my daughter holding our dog Sunni down, feeding her the sucker.  Sunni was going to town on that thing.  Apparently, australian shepherds also like root beer flavored dum-dums.  When my daughter decided that Sunni had had enough, she removed the sucker from the dog's mouth.  And placed it back in her own.  My daughter loves her dog. 

8.  I need a week or two that is entirely kid free so I can do nothing but work on projects that I steal from pinterest and or create in my mind.  I am currently only about a quarter of the way through a project that I began last year of turning old funky fence into shutters for my house.  I hope to get them done before the wood actually decomposes to dust.  I am also about half way through with a wreath covered in fabric rosettes.  I hope to get it done before fabric rosettes become as uncool as avocado refrigerators and navy, hunter green, and maroon hunting scenes in a gold frame over striped wallpaper in the same hues.  And the coffee table I have done nothing but dream about yet?  Fugettaboutit.  I do however have high hopes and dreams of painting my toe nails this week.  Baby steps.

9.  I occasionally take my children to the street behind our house to walk because it's a dead end that doesn't see much traffic and the weather has been lovely lately.  Plus it helps me justify eating the fudge we bought the other day if I walk that whole half of a mile at one time.  But last week something happened.  Something momentous and a tiny bit (ok, a lot) frightening happened.  I finally caught a glance of the guy who lives with his mother on our street.  You know the house.  The one where no one answers if you're selling cookies or candy bars or wrapping paper or whatever, even though you hear the tv on and the cars are in the driveway.  The one that if a kid ever dares to venture onto their grass, all the parents immediately begin to scream, "get out of their yard!  What are you doing?  Come here before they see you!".  That house.  And after catching a glance at the son, turns out all our concerns have been completely warranted.  Because, you see, as it turns out, we live down the street from the Unibomber.  Please don't tell anyone.  Information like this is never good for property values.

10.  I sometimes wonder if I am the only person in the world that feels the need to have a couple of more babies, just because I've fallen in love with another name and feel as if it is too good to not be given to someone in my life.  A few weeks ago we visited some dear friends who have a new cat named Estelle.  I now feel like if I don't give birth to another daughter so I can name her Estelle, after my dear friends' cat, then I will forever suffer with a small hole in my maternal psyche.  I also feel very strongly about the name Birdie (even though husband talked me out of it last time), and Owen all for a girl.  I honestly don't care if you feel the need to use these names yourself, as it is well documented on this blog that they were all my brainchild.  Just don't be offended when I have three more kids and name them these names as well.  And let's not even bring up little Shep.  He'll be there too.  I think of all these things some times and I let it eat away at me.  "poor cute names with no one to label.  poor cute wasted names".  Then I remember the horrors that are colic and breast feeding (I realized this was not a horror to many of you - probably exclusive to me) and I regain all sense of reality and give my baby names away on this blog.  Dear world - your welcome.  I would love to see a picture of your Birdie the first chance you get. (see that doesn't sound weird at all........)

11.  I had dental work done today.  It was actually quite painless.  However, the real ordeal was the fact that a large chunk of my face and half my nose was numb for hours to follow.  You have never lived until you have shown your friends how you can flare only one nostril.

12.  I have to wear a fancy dress this weekend that is too tight because I didn't walk more than a half mile at a time.  I am considering wrapping my body with seran wrap so my belly button indention does not show.  I hear this is a tactic in beauty pageants and such.  Have any of you ever done this?  Is this something that will actually work or will I end up sweating like a stuck hog 46 minutes into my fancy dinner that I cannot swallow because there is no room for food?  Advice please.

13.  Red velvet with cream cheese icing

14.  Chocolate with holes poked and sweetened condensed milk pour over while hot.  Then topped with whipped cream cheese icing once cooled.

15.  Angel food covered in cool whip and crushed butterfinger

16.  Birthday with big piles of icing

17.  Wedding

18.  I told you I love lists about cake.
    Then there was the time that I was about to walk into one of those hoity-toity stores, you know the kind - the ones with the insanely priced shoes, perfectly coiffed salespeople, and the clothes that only go up to a size 8 because people who are stylish and able to afford nice stuff should not be fluffy.  I was about to walk in and my baby said, "hode zhu mommy" which means "hold you mommy" in D-speak (which actually means, "these shoes are like two sizes two small and are killing my tiny feet so would you please pick me up and carry me because you love me as a person more than as an adorable model for overpriced baby clothes that may or may not fit appropriately").  So I leaned over to pick her up, and was looking at her as I swung her onto my hip, and my foot caught the inch and a half of concrete that was cracked and uneven beneath my feet, and we went flying.  Like slow motion, "blaaaaaaaaaaaaabgh", across the pebbled sidewalk, purse sailing, went flying.  And the thing is, the time when I went flying, I was holding my adorable little twenty-eight pound, two and a half year old nugget and was falling straight to the ground on top of her.  Her going head first into the concrete of course.  Needless to say, I am apparently a ninja in training because somehow I managed to throw my hands and arms around her while projecting my body away from her so that she walked away with nothing really wrong except a scratched elbow and a deathly fear of ever being carried by her mother again.  I on the other hand currently have a scratched up forearm, gashes in what I think may be a sprained hand/wrist situation, and a gaping, bloody rip in my only, best, and favorite pair of blue jeans.  It was super awesome.  And by awesome I mean awful.  And deathly embarrassing.  That's all I could think about was Carrie from Sex and the City the time that she was shopping in Paris and went flying in the Chanel store.  Except I did not then proceed to max out my credit card.  I instead bought one pair of Tiny Toms and limped away.

    Then there was the time on the same day as the day I went flying while holding my baby, that I was pulling into a parking lot of a store to buy a new pair of jeans, and a policeman turned his lights on and followed me.  Turns out I have not bought a new car tag since November of 2011.  Turns out I am a disorganized hot mess.  Because it had already been sort-of a rough day, and because it was rainy, and because my arm was hurting, and because it's better than crying, I started laughing.  And I could not stop.  I laughed so hard that I couldn't breath and I had tears pouring down my face.  That poor policeman thought he had pulled over a woman on the verge.  I'm not sure what on the verge of per say.  But definitely, he was sure I was about to loose it.  So when he walked back to my vehicle and said "maam, today I am only going to give you a warning ticket" and then I reached out my hands and said "can I kiss you?  on the face?"  I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when he didn't even crack a smile and replied, "no maam.  You can't".  Then I definitely shouldn't have been shocked when I then asked if he would take a picture with me for my blog and he said, "no. no maam.  we can't.".  

    Then there was the time that I decided God doesn't want me to buy expensive shoes even if I am an aspiring ninja and I probably shouldn't make policemen think I'm insane.  Then I came home and ate two Cadbury eggs.  The end.

An entirely true story,
1.  Today my girl found our "Elf on the Shelf" book and I promptly took it away because I like it the way it is - with the pages intact and all.  She really wanted it back and kept asking and asking and asking for it in Destruct-o-girl speak "blablablagobbledygookyaddayadda book"  "goobledygoobledygoobla book" "malamalamawhadda book".  However, I was pretty much just ignoring her and occasionally saying "no"  "no you can't have it"  "why don't you go play with your toys?"  "go get mama a cookie".  So as I sat on the floor working on our Christmas cards she walks over, grabs my face in both of her hands, puts her nose right against mine, and says "isen ew me. aughnt da book!" (that's destruct-o-girl for "listen to me.  I want the book!")  And can I just say that it was about the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life?!  Of course I still didn't give her the book, but I laughed, gave her a million kisses and distracted her with oreos.

2.  Is speech therapy available for just-turned-two year olds?  For reals though.......

3.  Oh special edition oreos, why must thou be dipped in white almond bark ever so perfectly and why must thou also be placed on the end cap of the aisle wherest I shalt see and purchase thee for my consumption every time I see you during this the holiday season?

4.  Have you ever had a blood vessel burst (explode) in your eye before?  I can't say that I have, until this week.  Sunday, there was one.  Monday, the whole top of my eye - disgusting.  I now look like a mummy on one side.  It is ewww. Just by freak coincidence it turns out I have an eye doctor appointment next Tuesday anyway (I'm not kidding about the freakiness of it.  My last vision check up was in college, 13 years ago, and I just happened to decide to make the appointment last week.  Weird.  DODOdodoDODOdodo) so I'm just going to wait to talk to him about it.  At first I freaked about the grodiness of it all, but then after I googled it, it seems that I am not in fact going blind today.  If you have intimate knowledge of the eyeball, however, and believe otherwise, please contact me at your quickest convenience because that's the kind of thing I really would like to know.  Thanks.  I hate to leave my entire life hanging in the balance of google.

5.  Isn't it funny how I have all the right in the world to stop getting on facebook instead of being annoyed with peoples statuses (stati?), and yet I don't stop.  In fact, I don't stop at all - I just stalk more - and complain the whole time about others' statuses.  For instance, I don't need a play by play of your day if you aren't doing anything special or out of the ordinary.  I'm having my own day of errands and work to do thanks.  I don't care that much about your workout unless it is something spectacular and then I only need to know about it once.  And to repeat myself from an earlier post.  You are not the only person in the world getting action so please for the love of all things polite, stop talking about it to your 800 closest friends.  Thankyoueversomuch.  But really, it's your status and your internet page so actually you can post whatever you want.  That's why they make a hide button.  (I would unfriend you but then I couldn't stalk you when I want to)

6. Tonight we babysat for some friends and the little guy will be one this month.  He is adorable and BUSY.  Plus he's the first kid at his quiet, polite house so I'm sure he had no idea what to do here at Casa de Nuttso.  We had a great time with him, but isn't it funny how when you have kids, you always think of the youngest one as a baby?  Then when an actual baby comes over it blows your mind that your kid is so big.  No?  Just me huh?

7.  Have you ever had that moment where you realize that the bottle of body wash you gave your boys weeks ago to take a shower with is actually lotion?  Which means your boys haven't actually bathed with soap in upwards of three weeks?  Me neither.

8.  Have you ever looked down to realize you are typing at 3 a.m. and then stopped on #8 of a list?




Fact:  Fat girls like Reeses Peanut Butter Cups

Fact.:  If your deadbolt on your backdoor was previously broken, and if during that time your small daughter figured out how to unlock the doorknob and let herself outside, and if you installed a chain at the top of the door to keep your daughter in, and if said chain was screwed into relatively new door casing trim that you installed onto sheetrock, and if said chain was on the door without your husband's knowledge when he was coming in with an armload of McDonalds after a long night of trick-or-treating, the results could be disasterous (including but not limited to ripping the trim right out of the wall, face nearly slamming into door, and food and drinks being at high risk for going everywhere)

Fact: If your husband rips the door facing out of the wall after a long night of Trick-or-treating and standing in an enormous line at McDonalds on halloween night, his mood will be foul.

Fact: I love my mechanic, pool guy, and HVAC man.  We've had to drop a lot of dough this week, and I must say, it helps if you like the people you're forking all the money over to.  Mine are seriously the best.  Ever.  Ever.  I told my mechanic this morning that I was going to kiss him on the face.  I would have too except it would have been akward to crawl over the parts counter.

Fact:  Satan invented laundry.  Think about it.

Fact:  All the teachers at my son's school think we are abusive parents because Super-G got in a little trouble today and had the come-apart of the century that included a lot of hysterical screaming.  "Don't call my mama!  My daddy is gonna kill me! My daddy is gonna kill me!"  Nice to know we've got our bluff in on him up to this point at least, I guess. 

Fact:  We are not abusive parents.

Fact: Black bears are better than brown bears.  (who am I quoting here?  hint - my favorite show ever)

Fact:  The entire Kardashian family could fall off the face of the planet and I'm pretty sure society would actually take a step forward.

Fact:  Mitchell Muso got a DUI yesterday.  Justin Beiber may or may not have knocked up some 19 year old, nasty looking fan at a concert.  Seriously though...........  What are we doing people?  Why do we love these folks?

Fact:  I am cooking 24 pounds of Italian beef for dinner.  My house is smellin' right.

Fact:   Turnanator has just learned all the books of the Old Testament and is totally obsessed with reciting them.  It's a touch annoying but awesome at the same time.  I still get twisted up on the minor prophets some times.  Plus there's a lot worse things to be obsessed with than the books of the Bible, and for that I am super proud of him!

Fact:  I've got to go get busy.  These kids aren't going to dress themselves. (or clean this house or finish this food or change that diaper either)

Love you like 24 pounds of beef,
    You know that akward feeling you get when the crazy looking, skin-and-bones, toothless woman stops you and your kids in Walmart to tell you that people are running a rat race in there and they keep trying to run over her so she has just started cussing everybody?  Yeah me too.  Stay off the crystal meth kids.

    So we watch a lot of Disney channel around here, and while she gets on my nerves some times, I think Brenda Song (who plays London Tipton on Suite Life On Deck) is a cute little actor and girl.  Then yesterday I saw where she went and got herself knocked up by and engaged to Chance Cyrus, Miley's brother.  The only word I have for that is ewww.  Ewww.  Ewwww.  Ewwwww.  If you don't know why this is ewwwww then please go google him.  Make sure the picture you see has the latest tatoos with the feathers falling out of his eyes and down his face.  What an idiot.  Stay off the crystal meth kids.

    I saw Joe Jonas's newest solo cd being advertised the other day and they were showing clips from one of the music videos.  I'm sure he is still a lovely boy and all, but it's going to be hard to sell the whole "promise ring" bit when you are singing to and rubbing all over a hotting wearing nothing but her itty bitty panties and your shirt with only two buttons actually buttoned.  I'm just saying.  

    You know that feeling you get on Sunday when you realize there is no way you are getting a nap, and all of a sudden you feel like you might actually die?  Yeah, me too.  Three days ago.

    You know you are lame when you pay a dear friend to clean your house but then won't let her come over because you haven't cleaned it up enough yet.

    Destruct-o-girl got mad a me the other day because I wouldn't let her go outside.  (that is a common occurance here)  So she fell out in the floor kicking and sreaming and writhing and I just ignored her.  When she realized I wasn't interested, she got up, walked to the living room, picked up the laptop that is bigger than her, walked to the kitchen with it, stood right in front of me and yelled my name, then tried to slam it on the floor in front of me.  What a punk.  Please stay away from the crystal meth kid.

    You know that feeling you get when you realize that your cubscout was supposed to be selling popcorn and you forgot and the money is due tomorrow?  No, me either. (on an unrelated note - some of you will be receiving calls tomorrow about "something" that I am buying for you and then will charge you for)

    Do you ever feel like a secretary?  For your children?  Next week we have a halloween party, basketball tryout/evaluations, and the flag raising ceremony at the high school football game - all at the exact same time for the same kid.

    I am doing some hard core Disney research and currently it is so overwhelming that I'm nervous and intimidated.  Please tell me it is not as difficult as it seems.  I believe I am going to start asking Disney questions every so often so I can mull the info over just a piece at a time.  So today's question is....
    *Where is your favorite place to stay at Disney?  We want to stay on site and I'm just completely overwhelmed by the number of options and all the things you have to weigh like dining, convenience, money, and space.  So I would love a reply if you have any input on this - especially if you have done it with little chirens.  Little bad chirens at that.  Spoiled, sass talkin', laptop throwing chirens.  And if not with bad chirens, just your regular kids.  

    speak to me.  help me.  guide me.  enlighten me. 

Too tired to type more,
    I am tired.  Like, barely awake, why am I not in the bed, too sleepy to stand up out of this hand-me-down harvest gold recliner.  But can I just tell you that earlier tonight there were some kids over here watching tv (The Singoff.  I'm telling you - if you aren't watching it then you are seriously missing out) and when they left, I changed the tv station to A&E?  Can I tell you that I decided on A&E because Hoarders was on?  Can I tell you that I love to watch Hoarders because it's so awful?  Fantastically awful.  Horrifically, violently, combustibly, ginormously awful in an I-can't-stop-staring-at-the-trainwreck awful.  Most of the time the people's houses are beyond liveable and completely disgusting, but tonight - tonight's episode just took the cake for me.  A poor man had found his wife dead in her truck years ago at age 39 from a heart condition, and he had never dealt with the grief.  So to feel better, he got 3 pet rats.  Years ago.  Do you see where I'm going with this?  Do you?

    Animal services came in and removed almost 2,500 rats out of this man's house.



                in one house

    I would continue to type a nice long paragraph about the whole situation, except that my organs are currently still seizing and about to shut down from the horrors of it all.  The heibby-jeibbies are so profound for me right now that I can barely bring myself to breath, much less process the nastiness.  But because I love you, I will leave you with a final quote from Glen the rat hoarder.............

    "I have to sleep in my shop now because they are everywhere.  If I lay down to try to sleep they will come up to me and pull my hair out - anything for nesting material.  Also, anything with moisture, they will lick and it's awfully hard to sleep with rats licking your eyeballs all night."

    How's that for a visual?  You're welcome.


Love you like reality television,

1. .......and I like to make lists.  Even ones that make no sense and have no theme.

2. So I had to call poison control today.  For the fourth time.  I'm just saying, this is no indication of my parenting, just my children's level of curiosity and apparent hunger.

3. Destruct-o-girl painted her feet, her hands, her arms, her clothes, my bathroom, my closet carpet, and her tongue with Sally Hanson Clear Hard-As-Nails Topcoat Polish today.  (please see status above)

4. Super G once ate deoderant.  And wallpaper stripper.  And roach spray.

5. Bless his precious little heart, Turnanator has never eaten any poison.  He is currently, at this second, my favorite child.

6. Over the past seven days there has been quite a large amount of fever and snot pass through this house.  I'm not sure why you need to know that but you do.

7. I decided tonight while fixing my kids' dinner plates, that peaches are one of the most revolting smells on this planet.  Seriously, I would rather smell the inside of Aaron's work shoes than smell a peach.  Gag-a-maggot.

8.  Do you remember the whole, "I bought a composter" phase of my life I went through?  Speaking of gag-a-maggot, apparently I am doing lots of stuff wrong.

9. Why will my hair not do all the cute, messy-bun things that are so popular right now?  Why am I hair inept?  Why won't it poof on top?  Why can't my bangs look like Carrie Underwoods?  Why do I seem to be the only person on earth who can't even properly install a bumpit to my crown?  Why do I own a bumpit?  And where exactly is my crown?

10.  Do any of you other stay-at-home mothers notice that on the rare occasions you get out without your kids, you cannot shut up?  It's like you need every word to make it to your next conversation with adults.  Let me just apologize in advance to any of you poor suckers that run into me on a Saturday in the Wal-mart.

11. Can I just say that I love my husband more than anything, but I find it amazing that he can run whole departments of a major vehicle manufacturing facility, dealing with budgets of millions and millions of dollars, and yet he cannot pick out matching clothes for our children.  It blows my mind every time.  However, I must confess that secretely down-deep, I kind-of like it that it's one more thing that only I can do. 

12.  When redoing your children's rooms, turns out, the best type of bunk bed is almost always a free one.  Shout out to D.K. for being awesome and paying it forward.  The budget nazi thanks you.  Big time.

13. If you are not watching The Sing-Off, there is something fundamentally wrong with you ability to judge what is awesome.  

14. Take two graham cracker crusts.  Put a shallow layer of caramel in both of them (dip, topping, whatever).  Mix a tub of whipped cream cheese and a can of sweetend condensed milk until blended.  Stir in a tub of cool whip.  Pour the mix evenly into the two crusts.  Drizzle with more caramel.  Freeze.  Eat.  The whole pie.  In one sitting out of the pan with a fork with your husband.  Moan about how your pants don't fit.  Eat more pie tomorrow.  Thank me. 

    You know how when a baby gets older but still wears diapers, you get to carry around a diaper bag a lot less?  I mean, you still have to have it because you never know when you will need a diaper and somehow your kid is always sticky so you need wipes.  But you no longer have to lug the thing everywhere.  You just need less.  I leave it in the car most of the time, but the one place I always take it in is church.  Because lets just face it - it takes a lot of stuff to get my daughter through that long of a stretch without a meltdown, a bolt down the aisle to the front, or a screaming mimi fit.  I carry sippy cups, and passies, and toys, and snacks, and medicine, and old make-up brushes, and small books, and an epi pen.  Then as soon as church is over every Sunday, I shove it back in my vehicle and let it sit there until next Sunday comes along.  The problem is, I forget about all the extra stuff that gets stuck down in there every week when I'm trying to haul my 76 pounds of baggage and three kids out of the church building while Aaron is shaking hands and visiting.  So tonight as I cleaned the nasty thing out, I decided it was pitiful enough to turn into a blog post.  So here it is, "You just never know what you will find in the diaper bag".
This is my dear husband's Bible that his father gave him and that he likes to use when he preaches.  It was at the bottom of the bag and is now covered in some type of unidentifiable sticky substance.  It has been considered "missing" for at least five weeks.

This is a lone, striped rock.  Not sure why I have a lone, striped rock in my bag, but I have a feeling it has something to do with one of the boys that I went to the trouble of giving birth to.

This is a pile of garbage because we are apparently too lazy to walk to the trash can in the foyer.  My truck looks just like this times 7,000,000. We are a disgusting people. 

This is one, sad, lonely sock.  I'm sure at one point in it's life it had a mate, but alas, apparently the mate met some type of awful fate and this sock has been widowed.  It's possible the incident had something to do with the cheeto on this poor guy.  I mean seriously, who gets cheeto on their feet?

This is apparently the reason why I can never find a passy.  They all find their way to the abyss that is the diaper bag - never to be seen again.......................

This is a photo of three, week and a half old, getting mushy eggplants.  Why do I have old eggplants in my diaper bag you may ask?  Well that, my friends, is an excellent question to which I say....................I have no idea.

Don't be like me,
    I had a few things I was going to write about tonight, but I only have thirteen minutes to write this post and clean all the laundry off my bed and wash my face and go to sleep because I am trying something new in my life and vowing to go to bed by 10:00.  I've decided I am going to get up in the mornings with Aaron while it is still dark and work out and bathe all before it is time to wake my children up for school.  I might even get them up early enough to eat breakfast at the house and not a poptart in the car on the way.  I think it is a novel idea to wake up before the last second and actually get ready for my day, so I am giving it a try.  I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes.  My hopes are high but my expectations are realistic.  I'm just saying. 

    So instead of a long post about the stuff swirling in my mind, I decided to show y'all some more of the stuff that I have done lately to avoid housework.  By the way, I have to give a huge shout out to Audra Laney because I saw where she posted my burlap football on Pinterest and I literally squealed out loud with delight.  I made Pinterest!!  Yay me!!  Thanks Audra for making me feel like a big deal when I so, so, so am not!
This is the witch's hat I made for my sister-in-law for her birthday and I think it turned out really cute, even if I did make it.  The burlap was already black and took a few coats for the paint to cover well, but it was easier than painting the whole thing.

I made this pumpkin for my grandmother for her birthday, and I am not thrilled with it.  For starters, they are not Tennessee fans, but instead have a last name that starts with a "T".  But everyone that saw it thought I was doing it for Tennessee.  Fail.  But the fabric is cute.  Orange and green tweed that I happened to already have in my closet because I am a hoarder.  The problem was that the fabric was harder to paint on and I screwed it up in a few places.  But I didn't have anything else to show y'all so here it is anyway.

This is an oreo bar.  This is a recipe I got off of pinterest.  This is delicious.  This is the last one because I had already eaten the whole rest of the pan before I took this picture.  This was what I had for dinner tonight.  This is basically the recipe for rice crispy treats except instead of puffed rice cereal, use a package of crushed oreo cookies.  This is one of the many reasons I will never be able to pull off skinny jeans.  And let the church say "amen".

I've got to go.  It's 10:08 already and I haven't even moved from this couch yet.

Love you like anything made with oreos,