1.  My kids are goofy.

2.  Your's probably are too.

3.  But this is my blog so if you are here then you are probably going to see a bunch of stuff about mine.  Sorry. 

4.  I have mentioned before on here that my daughter just cannot talk very clearly.  Like - at all.  Bless her little heart.  But as her mother I am able to decipher more of what she says than most people.  As her mother, I also know that there are several words that she just will not attempt for some reason - her name being one of them.  I have no idea why, but she refuses to say it.  It's a perfectly regular type name (well sort of) that other little kids are capable of saying, but she REFUSES to even try.  So it has become sort of an amusing thing for us lately to see what she answers when we ask her what her name is.  She changes the answer every so often, but for the past month her name has been...........wait for it............................

           Doctor Cassie Tiger

Yep, you heard that right folks.  I am the proud mother of one Doctor Cassie Tiger.  Of course, it's pronounced more like "Dodder Sassy Shiger"  but I speak Destruct-o-girl so I know what she's saying.  You have no idea just how fun it is to try and explain that to strangers who are trying to be polite and talk to the cute girl with the crazy hair in the checkout line at the Walmart store.

"What's your name cute girl/hon/little sweety/other cute baby girl colloquialism?".  "Dodder Sassy Shiger" (proud grin). 
(strange look)
(then I tell them what her real name is and get an even stranger look a lot of times)

Then it really gets interesting when they ask her how old she is and her reply is always "two five seven five".

I promise, one day I'll send her to preschool where maybe she can work all of this out. 

5.  Every week my son has to write a sentence for each of his 10 spelling words in his spelling notebook.  Every week my son forgets to bring his spelling notebook home and I want to beat him with a large stick.  Today when he finished up and checked over his work, I couldn't help but notice the sentence for number 6 "serve". 

          "My mom won't serve me."

Funny.  Because now I'm completely unsure of what I've been doing with myself for the past seven and a half years. 

6.  Sunni is not actually a child, but might as well be because I feed her, clean up after her, and yell at her too.  So I am soliciting advice from all of you dog lovers out there for my other baby.  She is an australian shepherd and is smart and cute and not very big yet, but boy does she wear a family out.  She has tons of energy (which we thought we were prepared for) and chews to oblivion things that I didn't even know we owned (which I can live with).  But the worst of all offenses is that she attacks our kids with love.  She's so sweet to them and lets my girl pull on her ears and sit on her and whack her in the nose for no reason, but she just jumps all over the kids.  Especially the baby.  Aaron and I have broken her from jumping on us, but I can't seem to figure out how to stop her from jumping on them if I'm not standing right beside them.  It makes playing in the back yard torture.  What do I do?!  Help!  Advice?!  New home?! (ok, kidding.    .........I think)

7.  It's hard to believe during this cool spell (that's not a thing you can say a lot in April in Mississippi), but earlier in March it was warm enough outside to play in the sprinklers.  I even saw pics on facebook of people swimming.  Apparently their pools are heated because mine will still be freezing on Memorial Day, if the past three years have been any prediction.  Fat people in skirted swimsuits and blue lips.  It's a holiday tradition. 
     Anyhow, I still have a completely blank mantle over my fireplace ever since Christmas and I've been waiting on something to inspire me, so the other day I decided to snap some pics of my kids in the sprinkler.  I thought they turned out so well that I printed them out in the small poster size, mounted them on some canvass I had and sat them on my mantle waiting to have a decorative vision.  They are no professional shots are anything, but they are natural.  Just the way I want to remember them today.
 
    For Real.  There really is going to be a touch of adult content on this one.  No nudity or foul language or anything - just some subject matter that is more mature.  So if you are under the age of 18 or my grandmother, please do not click on the link below.  The rest of you, I believe we are all adults and you are safe.

1. Santa brought a puppy for Christmas.  Sunnie.  Or Sunny.  Or Sunni.  I'm still not sure.  She is adorable and fluffy and we love her.  However, I do not do animals in the house except in the kennel because Turnanator has some fairly serious allergy issues and I have some fairly serious mental health issues that should be addressed by a mental health professional, including but not limited to my selective germaphobia.  I am fine with not bathing for 3 days but let one dog hair be on my couch and I'm putting on the curb for sale.  I'm a weirdo.  That's why you read my blog.  Anyway, Sunnie has to live outside during the day but it has been raining for what feels like seven weeks straight, so the poor thing has chewed up everything at my back door and she reeks of wet dog.  Mostly because she is one.  But it is almost more than I can handle.  Currently my whole house, my garage,  and my oldest son also reek.  I promise you, I can smell it when I pull into my driveway and it makes me gag a little.  (more of my mental health issues I'm afraid)

2.  We have been dieting.  I have been hungry.  I have been mean.  I have yelled at my children for things that are not important.  I have punched Aaron in the arm because he judged me for eating one small slice of cheese on what was otherwise an entirely boring and awful wheat bread sandwich.  I hate dieting.  I love things made with crisco.  I have in one week lost 6 and 1/2 pounds.  Don't get excited.  I was bloatie last week.  Plus, when you have no less than 75 pounds to lose so your body fat percentage will be under 97%, 6 and 1/2 pounds is merely a drop in the proverbial bucket. 

3.  I miss poptarts.  You know you're hungry when you're older than ten and you miss pop tarts.

4.  This year for New Years, Aaron made a resolution that proves just how wonderful he is, just how awful I am, and just how he's a big jerk for rubbing his "better than me-ness" in my face.  Well, he's not really a jerk - just a guy who wishes he always had clean work clothes, but Aaron has decided that he will be the person that does the laundry.  At first this made me angry and annoyed (please see the two times previous post for reasons) but then I decided it was awesome.  So I'm just going to ride this train as long as it lasts and see how it plays out.  He still requires me to help put away clothes (which is still entirely dreadful), but at least I'm not doing the folding any more.  He only works 12 to 14 hours per day at an incredibly stressful job and then is the college minister at our church on the side.  I figure he has plenty of free time and energy to do the laundry for a family of five.  (I feel a healthy mix of happiness and shame people)

5.  In case we are not friends on facebook and you missed this important announcement - the silica gel packets that come in things such as shoe boxes and new purses are NOT, in fact, poisonous.  Even if you are a 28 pound, two-year-old girl who ate two of them out of your  mother's new messenger bag.  Even if they say on the outside of the packet in bold words "DO NOT EAT".  Still.  They aren't poisonous.  Yay.  Yay for things that aren't toxic.

6.  The following is the thing I was talking about earlier.  The mature, adult type thing.  Like most everything else in my life - I am probably way behind and most of you have already seen this, but for the few that haven't......  My brother and sister-in-law introduced me to Flight of the Conchords (well I had heard of them but never actually heard them) over the holidays.  They are a comedy, singing duo from New Zealand and they had a show on HBO for a while.  Not sure I would recommend you watch all of their stuff, but this one song is hilarious (at least to us) and is so fitting for married couples.  If this is not funny to you, then you have not been married long enough and don't have enough kids yet.  Give it time.  (p.s. - it's about sex if you haven't figured it out.  I don't want to offend anyone so please don't watch it if that's the kind of thing that stresses you out or if your seven-year-old is standing over your shoulder. Thanks)