• Number of mouse sightings - 4
  • Locations of mouse sightings - on my foot, in the living room, in the den, jumping out of my car when we opened the door
  • Length of lecture I got from Aaron about the nastiness of my vehicle and embarrassment of having a mouse therein - endless and still ongoing
  • Number of mouse traps in our home (sticky and snap) - 14
  • Cleanliness status of my house - not nearly as bad as I make it sound and you must think it is considering the number of rodents present
  • Number of meals in a row my children have eaten pizza - 3 (including breakfast)
  • Number of loads of laundry waiting to be washed - ~11
  • Number of beach towels laying in a wet nasty pile - all of them (and we have a bunch of beach towels.  a bunch)
  • What time I drove to the gas station last night to buy myself a coke icee - 9:27
  • Number of hours Aaron worked last Thursday - 26 (yes I know there are only 24 hours in a day.  There was a compact, American-made, foreign car crisis of epic proportions.  He went in at 6:30 Thursday morning and left 8:30 Friday morning)
  • Number of hours Aaron slept the next day - 16
  • Number of pairs of shoes that my daughter has lost and I absolutely cannot find - 2 (black strappy sandals and pink crock for playing outside, just in case you see them)
  • Reason my 2-year-old daughter is completely stressed out right now - she can't find her Tinkerbell phone
  • Number of trays on my antique wooden side table with glass drawers in it - 1
  • Number of coasters on my antique wooden side table with glass drawers in it - 3
  • Where Aaron left his big, tall, wet, sweating, glass of iced sweet tea for hours without me noticing -

Directly on the wood

  • Place I wanted to punch Aaron when I found it - in the neck




    Sometimes I am a humongous dufus.   I'm fairly certain that every time I grew a child inside of my body it made me dumber, and apparently I didn't have that much to loose because sometimes I do stuff that is plain ridiculous.  My last post being one of them.  If you saw it, please explain to me why you didn't love me enough to say, "hey dufus, your link's not workin'".  And I would have said, "Oh no!  Just give me a little time and I will plink around on this computer as if I know a hyperlink from a hole in the ground and figure it all out".  Then I would have spent the next hour trying to figure out what I did wrong, only to realize I had the wrong blog address the whole time.   Because I'm a dufus who stays up too late to type and who eats too much processed food and who spends too much time with people under the age of 8.  I'm sure that's why.

    Anyway, hopefully now it is working and those of you who already saw it once and tried to go there but didn't love me enough to tell me I was inept at computery stuff (and reading apparently) when it didn't work, can go back and read it now and cry and snot on your shirt just a little.  It really is fantastic. 

(I need you to know that I just went back and read through those two above paragraphs, and yikes.  There's a lot of run on sentence situations going on up there.  However I am too lazy to fix it all, so just do your best to make sense of it.)

    The next thing I need to tell you is that there is a mouse in my house.  We are pretty sure it is just one at least.  The first time we saw it is when I opened the trash compactor and it jumped out.  On my bare foot.  And I died.  Then I came back to life and screamed  repeatedly while jumping up and down and convulsing violently for some time.  (those of you who are my friends on Facebook have already heard of the horror)   Since then there have been several mouse sightings, including one where said rodent scurried across our living room while we all sat there watching tv.  Apparently we have made it feel welcomed and quite at home.  Good job us.  Now we have got to employ whatever means necessary to get rid of Stuart Little.

Reason #1 - mice are disgusting
Reason #2 - I am now having nightmares about the mouse crawling on my face at night and licking my eyeballs all because of an awful show I saw on Hoarders once
Reason #3 - as wonderful and manly as my husband is, he is just as, or even more so, afraid of mice than I am.  we are not brave when it comes to rodents.  A bunch of weenies in fact
Reason #4 - I am allergic to anything mousy.  I can go in an old barn or an attic where mice have obviously been, and withing seconds I can start to feel all itchy, scratchy and raspy.  Then my eyes start swelling and the next thing you know, they are almost swollen shut and they are so fat that the eyelids turn inside out.  It's grotesque.  Horror movie stuff.
Reason #5 - please see reason #1

    We now have traps out and set all over.  Sticky traps placed stragically around the places our visitor seems to frequent.  But so far - nothing.  Apparently the little joker is very smart.  Either that or it has no need to eat peanut butter and cheese off of traps because I have a bunch of little knucklehead children that eat all over the house and drop crumbs every where they go - making this place a mouse heaven.  For instance, yesterday I looked behind the couch in the living room and there were two pepperonis, a pair of camouflage flip flops, a torn up napkin, a pair of pink crocs, a handful of m&m's, a note on a piece of torn notebook paper, some cereal, and two dead bugs.  Really children?  Pepperonis?  Really?  Right now they are eating waffles and syrup in the den.  I have no control.  

    So if you have any fantastic rodent catching advice, we will gladly take it.  Unless it involves cleaning my house up - then I'm not sure that is something I can commit to. 

    On a second, and equally important vermin note - I am originally from a place where there really are no ticks.  There are enormous amounts of mosquitoes (as in, go head to head with Alaska or the frozen tundra of Canada) but there are no ticks.  But now, I live in a place that is apparently having a booming year for ticks.  So last night when I was taking a shower to wash away the fact that we had three baseball games and I sweat like.........something that sweats a lot...............I tried to brush away the tiny spot of dirt on my leg.  And it didn't move except to wiggle it's disgusting little legs!!   A tick had lodged itself right there in my calf, and since it was the first time I have ever had a tick I flipped. 

"Ewwwww, Ewwww, Ewwwww, Aaaaarrrrrrrooooooooonnnnnnn!!!!!" 

    Of course you all know that you can't just pull it off, you have to get the head out.  Problem is, the only way we knew how was to put a hot match on it, and we were too lazy to walk to the den to get my phone charger so we could plug in my dead phone and ask Siri any other way.  Except that we don't have any matches - only those long Bic lighters to light the grill.  So my loving husband tells me to be still and let him know if it hurts.  And I, like an idiot, said ok.  Turns out that holding a lighter right up against your leg isn't hot at all until you move it that one nanometer closer to actually affect the tick.  Then you burn your leg and feel tempted scream a profanity and punch your husband who just gave you a one square inch, third degree burn - in his neck.  But you don't because you don't use profanities and you're too worried about the parasite wedged in your leg to punch anyone in the neck. 

    The tick did burn to death, though, and was successfully removed.  And I believe the moral of all of this is that we are disgusting, vermin and parasite infested people right now, and if you don't want to be our friends any longer, I would understand. 

Disgustingly yours,
kindergarten fun with the teacher!
awards night at the end of first grade!
     This past school year, my boys and I were blessed with fantastic teachers for kindergarten and first grade.  Mrs. Eubank and Mrs. Martin were great to my guys and to me as a disorganized and slightly neurotic mother.  They kept me informed, they were patient with my little weirdos' quirks, and they were just plain out great at imparting all the knowledge that a six and seven year old should know.  Because let me just tell you this - if it were up to me to teach my children how to read, it would be a sad, illiterate day at the unemployment office when the time came for gainful employment.  So we love them now, our Mrs. Eubank and Mrs. Martin. 

    But this year was special.  Not only because we had great teachers, but because Super-G got to be in Mrs. Martin's class when one of the most exciting and important events of her life occurred.  It was no secret that Mrs. Martin and her husband had been going through fertility treatments for several years, and it was no secret that they very much wanted to be parents.  And pretty much everyone that knows them wanted the very same thing for them, because they would make a fantastic mommy and daddy to some lucky child.  Well, one fateful Thursday night in April they got a call that there was a baby in the NICU who needed parents to love her.  And in what was a whirlwind of a few days, they went from a feeling of despair and longing to a feeling of overwhelming joy that most of us will probably never know.  It's not that I didn't feel joy when my kids were born, because I was thrilled, it's just that having babies came so easily for us that I'm not certain I appreciated it for the miracle it was like the Martins did when their long awaited baby came into their lives.  She was tiny and had lots of growing to do, but she has been a little fighter and she has been thriving.  She has met every milestone as a preemie early, and in fact, is now home with her mommy and daddy and doing great. 

    Everyone that knows the Martins is thrilled for them, and we have all been following their story on their blog.  Which is why I wrote this today.  All of you that are "locals" already follow her blog, and many of you who are my friends on facebook have seen where I have shared some of her posts.  But there are many of you who read the blog who haven't had the privilege of getting to know about this wonderful family and amazing story yet.  So here you go!  Below I have given a link, and I highly recommend you click and read if you are in the market for some warm fuzzies and happy tears.  Warning - there will be lots of happy tears.  In fact, there have only been two posts so far that I have not had some level of snot running down my face.  And there are only thirteen posts so far.  So if you have the time, click back and start at the beginning.  It's just better that way.  Hope you enjoy!