My mother has decided that I need to become a children's book author when I grow up.  She just informed me of that this morning, and I think it is a wonderful idea.  So as I am walking around the house picking up old food off of my couch and finally hanging the silhouettes on the wall (yep, more than 3 weeks later) and still avoiding the laundry, I was trying to think of what I would write about - if I were an author.  And all of a sudden it came to me - Destruct-o-girl.  Actually, it came to me after a brief cardiac episode followed by a wave of nausea and trembling, but whatever...
    If you have ever been to our house, you know that there is a playroom upstairs.  Well, it's more of a "if Toys R' Us ate Mattell and Walmart's halloween section and the entire Hot Wheels factory and then came to my upstairs and threw up" type situation than an actual playroom, but you get the idea.  The stairs are in the back corner of my living room and because I am not totally negligent, there is a safety gate.  When you get upstairs, there is basically a balcony/loft area in front of the playroom that overlooks the living room, and there is a half wall up there to look over.  Destruct-o-girl is not allowed upstairs, for obvious reasons.  Falling down the steps, tiny Legos, etc. etc.  So as I am sitting on the recliner not 3 feet from the entry to the stairs printing out my coupon shopping list I hear "Hey Mama" (or an 18 month version of that).  I look up to see her leaned half-way over the half wall of the loft.  WHAT!?!?!?  Panic.  Horror.  Panic.  So I fly out of the chair and stand under her ready to catch.  Eventually I talk to her enough to get her off of the sit and spin that she is standing on top of.  Then I fly up the steps and retrieve her, only to come down and notice that she had silently scooted her little rocking horse up to the gate and used it as a stool to climb over.  That girl is stealth I tell you.  She is interesting enough to write about I think.  If there were such things as children's horror stories. 
    So in honor of todays adventure, I thought I would post a few pictures of what it's like to live with my baby. 
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Yep, that's a bag of white chocolate chips she found and helped herself to when the pantry was left unlocked for 7 seconds
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Daughter why are you standing on my dining room table? And why were you actually just swinging from that ugly burnished gold light fixture? And why did I keep that ugly burnished gold light fixture for so long? Why?
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Could not find her - to the point I was beginning to worry. "Surprise Mama. I'm just chillin' here in the dryer"
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"Salt anyone?"
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"Fine, no one will let me have the remote then I'll just get one myself"
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Anyone want to come over for dinner? I'll be cooking soup in my favorite orange, cast-iron and enamel pot. It will be delicious. Won't taste like dirty feet at all. .....Anyone?.....Anyone?
    Just so you know, these are only the things I managed to get photos of.  There's more fun times where these came from for sure.    

 I have to go now.  Destruct-o-girl has yet to take a nap, and if I don't force it so I can have a tiny break then I become a frazzeled-nerve psychotic.  Plus..... I'm considering showering today.  Maybe.

Love you like nap time,
Cassie
5/9/2011 03:21:05 am

Wow. I really do feel for you. That girl is into EVERYTHING!

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Denise
5/9/2011 03:25:09 am

This is sooooo my life right now. Braydon moves chairs around to get to what he wants. I found him Saturday on TOP of the fridge. He had climbed onto a chair, then onto the stove, then onto the fridge and was just dangling there, trying to get higher. CRAZY! If I say 'no' to something in the fridge or pantry, he just goes and gets it while I am not looking. He also climbs in the dryer and washer...and tries to turn them on and close himself inside. We are in for SERIOUS TROUBLE, my dear friend. I'll pray for you. You pray for me and maybe we can survive. take care.
much love
Denise

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LeAnn
5/9/2011 04:00:57 am

This reminds me of the "NO, David" children's books. There's not very much writing involved in them, the pictures do most of the talking. I think they sell pretty well.

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Kara
5/9/2011 09:49:17 am

There are several top selling books that are about "destruct-o girls". It doesn't matter how many or written, children love them. Teachers not so much, we don't really want kids to act that way, but they are funny and kids like funny. In all, it sells. Kids love to read and see it, even if they shouldn't do it. Ha ha. Have fun and good luck. Good ideas are like cake, it is only good if you eat it!

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